


Someone Like You

by TDB



Series: Someone Like You [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, F/M, First Love, Heartbreak, Pining, Please don't hate Steve and Peggy, Spoiler: Miscarriage, Steve's kind of a douche in this - sorry, Total AU going on here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TDB/pseuds/TDB
Summary: Y/N sniffled, embarrassed that Bucky had been subjected to her and Steve’s disagreement.“So, as your friend, I ask you again: Why do you stay with him?”She lifted her chin to face Bucky directly. “He told me he loves me, and Steve Rogers has NEVER lied to me.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Mentions of Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov and Sam Wilson/Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers/Reader
Series: Someone Like You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914958
Comments: 16
Kudos: 72





	1. Treat You Better

**Author's Note:**

> A/N This is my first attempt at publishing something here, but by no means is my first time writing fanfiction. I have a good chunk of this handwritten and/or plotted out, however I can't promise an exact posting schedule, as my kids keep me busy. Either way, I hope y'all enjoy! Sorry for the tags, I'm not entirely sure what all I should have included, and what I should keep out. I can assure you that the only possible thing I can think of that would be a possible trigger is the miscarriage, and I'll make a note a the top of that chapter.
> 
> This entire story is from the Reader (Y/N)'s POV. The other parts in this series will be from other POVs.

“I told you I’m not ready Y/N! Why can’t you respect that?” Steve’s voice boomed loudly across the living room. He turned his head towards the couch, where his best friend and their roommate, Bucky, was sitting, concentrating hard on the book in his hands, pretending that he isn’t hearing the same, repetitive argument about marriage.

Y/N’s cheeks tinted a very slight shade of pink. She hated arguing about wanting to get married in front of Bucky. “Steve!” Y/N protested. “It’s been nearly SIX YEARS! I...I just -” she lowered her head in defeat. “I’m sorry. I just…” She handed him the red envelope, addressed to the both of them in beautiful, black calligraphy. “Clint and Nat…”

Steve took the invitation and glanced at it, tossing it onto the table. “Listen Y/N,” his voice softened, “I’ve got a lot going on – I head out to boot camp in a two weeks! I’ve got business to take care of.”

“Do you ever think about it?” Y/N’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Steve stepped closer and pulled her into a hug. “Of course I do. I -” He sighed. “It’s not a great time for me right now. I need to get my career going before I can commit to anything else.” Y/N nodded sadly into his chest.

“You still want to get lunch and maybe go over to the park?” Y/N looked up and smiled at Steve, biting her lower lip.

Steve touched her chin lightly, guiding her face to look at him again. “I know I said I would, but…”

“You can’t.” Her shoulders dropped in disappointment.

“Y/N, I have some paperwork to fill out and a test to study for.”

“I thought you already filled out the packet you got from the recruitment office. And what test?”

“They gave me some more.” Steve gently touched one of the loose curls on the side of Y/N’s face. “It’s a competency test. It’s used to find out where I should be placed. It’s really important.”

Y/N backed away from Steve. “I understand.” She said softly.

Steve ran his fingers through a few strands of her hair, tugging her closer to kiss her lips quickly. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Bucky looked over and snorted, then grabbed his bottle of water, drinking heavily from it. Steve glared at his childhood friend. “You alright there Buck?”

Buck returned the glare. “I’m good. Just thirsty.” He picked up his book again and flipped the page.

“I’ll see you sometime tonight.” Steve mumbled to Y/N. “I don’t know exactly when.”

“See you tonight, I guess.” Y/N bit her lower lip before continuing. “I love you Steve.”

“I love you too.” He took his study guide and book from the dining table and placed them in his bag that he had left on beside the sofa earlier. He gave Y/N a small smile before turning on his heels and racing out the door of the small home they shared.

The door had barely closed before Bucky abruptly slammed his book. Laying the book on the coffee table, he sat upright on the couch as she hurried past him. “Hey Y/N?”

She paused, her hand resting on the railing – foot placed on the first step, on her way to the bedroom she shared with Steve. “What is it Bucky?”

“I know Steve’s my best friend, but why do you stay with him?”

Y/N swiped her hand across her face, clearing the tears that had been gathering. She took a deep breath to calm herself before turning to her roommate to answer. “What do you mean?”

“You and Steve.” He stood up and walked towards her. “You both argue about marriage at least once a week!” He shook his head and tugged at his chin-length, dark brown hair.

“We don’t argue…” Y/N’s voice trailed off.

He scoffed. “Sure you don’t. Does ‘heavily animated discussions about the potential nuptials between yourself and Steve’ sound more accurate? Whatever you call it, it always ends with you in tears.” Y/N sniffled, embarrassed that Bucky had been subjected to her and Steve’s disagreement. “So, as your friend, I ask you again: Why do you stay with him?”

She lifted her chin to face Bucky directly. “He told me he loves me, and Steve Rogers has NEVER lied to me.”

Bucky held her gaze, carefully pondering what his next words would be. “You and Steve...he told me that you both…” He reached his neck and scratched it sheepishly.

Her face flushed. “He told you that he was my first boyfriend?”

“I know you’re his first girlfriend and yeah, he told me that he was your first boyfriend too.”

“How is that important?” Y/N asked.

“He was the first guy to pay attention to you.” Bucky noted.

Y/N crossed her arms across her chest. This line of discussion was a sensitive topic for her. “If you mean ‘first guy to look past my weight and awkwardness,’ then yes. But that isn’t why we started dating. Believe it or not, Bucky, we were friends to start, and the more we talked, the more we realized that not only did we enjoy each other’s company, we also had a similar set of values and moral code.”

Bucky then crossed his arms across his body in direct challenge to Y/N. “I pay attention to the both of you – and neither of you are happy! You both haven’t been for a while. It’s why I’m talking to you now. I don’t like seeing you constantly upset.” Y/N lowered her arms and gazed up the stairs. “I miss seeing you smile.” He whispered.

“So do I.” Y/N choked out, abruptly racing up the stairs and shutting the door to her and Steve’s bedroom.


	2. Please Mr. Postman

Y/N pulled into the driveway to park, not seeing Bucky’s bike. “That’s weird. Bucky’s usually home by now.” She exited the car and slung her bag over her shoulder. She opened the mailbox. “I wonder if Steve’s finally gotten a chance to write to me.” She pondered out loud, while sorting the mail she retrieved. “Bill, bill, junk…” She sighed as she continued, letting her bag slip down slightly as she spotted the neat scrawl of her boyfriend on the return address of an envelope. “Finally!” She bounced happily on the balls of her feet before she hurriedly entered the house. Dropping her bag full of work things beside the couch, she took the envelope in her hands and smiled, she’d bring it upstairs to read.

“Hey Y/N!” Bucky called out, causing her to jump.

“He finally wrote Bucky!” Y/N squealed.

Bucky’s brows furrowed and he stepped closer. “Y/N...who is it addressed to?

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Who else Bucky?” She made a dramatic showing of reading the recipient’s name, the brightness of her eyes dimming when she read the envelope. She took a deep inhale of breath to help steady her voice, which was threatening to crack in sorrow. “Here. It’s...yours.”

“I’m sorry Y/N. I keep writing back to tell him to send you one.”

The tears that Y/N held at bay were now streaming down her flushed cheeks. “This isn’t the first one you’ve gotten?”

Bucky’s shoulders drooped. “I’ve gotten a few.” He replied, shame and guilt flooding his eyes.

“I’ve sent him so many letters, and he couldn’t...not even one?” She spoke softly to herself.

“Y/N…”

“It’s not your fault Bucky. Steve has his reasons. Besides, I don’t need a letter to know he loves me. He told me he does, and he’s never lied to me.”


	3. Bad Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of smut, but (in my humble opinion) not really too graphic. It may appear non-con, but rest assured, it was very consensual between the two parties.

“We’ve been over this at least a thousand times Y/N! I need to focus on the future!” Steve’s voice tinged with annoyance. “I just got back and you can’t even help yourself from starting in on me about marriage!”

“I’m sorry! I’m just trying to figure out why you can’t do that with me? We’ve already supported each other. Why is this different?” Y/N put her hands on her hips, determined to have Steve admit her reasoning was valid.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you – I need to focus on getting my military career started. I can’t risk any distractions! You know how long I’ve wanted this!”

“I keep asking you, because I know you’ll get your orders soon! We both know I can’t go with you if I’m just your girlfriend!”

“I told you that -”

“I’m sorry.” She turned herself to the side, backing away from another argument with Steve. “I just really missed you while you were gone.” She hugged herself for comfort. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started in on your first day back.”

Steve sighed heavily, reaching for her shoulder. “Y/N…” He turned her and kissed her deeply. “Come with me.” He tugged on her hand and led her to their bedroom.

After closing the door behind them, Steve placed a hand on her waist, drawing her near. He kissed the back of her neck, moving his lips up to the sweet spot behind her ear. “Steve…” Y/N whimpered, leaning back into him.

“Shh Y/N.” He tugged her shirt up, backing away only to pull it off of her completely. “You’re too good to me Y/N.” He murmured, nibbling on the dip between her neck and shoulder. “So good…” His hands slid down her sides, reaching around to the front. He swiftly undid the button at the top of her jeans and unzipped them, pulling them down in a hurry.

“Steve?” Y/N placed her hands over his in an effort to speed along the process. “Steve, it’s the middle of the afternoon. Won’t Bucky hear us?”

“It’s been so long Y/N. Let me have this?” His hands continuing their mission of stripping the clothes off her body and tossing them carelessly on the floor. “I need this.” Steve pulled his own shirt off, removing his dog tags with it.

Y/N turned to watch Steve, reaching behind herself to remove her bra. She climbed up on their double bed, taking her usual place near the headboard. “I really did miss you Steve.”

Steve silently unlaced his boots. “I know you did. I got all your letters. I...I just didn’t have time to write back.” He looked towards his belt as he unbuckled himself, his uniform pants falling to his ankles with a swift tug downward.

Y/N tilted her head to the side, “But you had time to…”

“Not like this.” He climbed onto the bed and used her arms to pull him to her. “Like this.” He flipped her onto her stomach, gripped her hips tightly, and pulled them up. “I want to try it like this.” He brushed her hair to the side and whispered hotly in her ear.

“We’ve never done it like this!” She protested, still pondering over the lie he told her barely a minute earlier.

“Nothing wrong with new things.” He nipped at her shoulder, causing her to moan.

Y/N rocked her hips backwards, seeking out Steve’s arousal. If Steve lied over not having time to write her a letter, it was probably for a good reason that he’d reveal to her later.

Steve shoved Y/N down by her shoulders, her face buried into his pillow. He reached for his hardened length and began to rub it against her dampening entrance. Finding her ready enough, he steadily pushed inside of her.

Y/N moaned loudly – they had never had sex in this position before, and the new angle he was entering hit all kinds of places that created new, wonderful sensations she’d never experienced. Her whimpers of pleasure filled the room and quite possibly the house without a care.

Steve stopped talking and focused on pushing his hips into her. He reached for Y/N’s shoulder and gripped her hip harder, pulling her closer to him with each thrust, causing him to reach depths she previously felt impossible to reach. His body tensed and held still, the familiar, soft groan that signaled his release was the only clue Y/N had that he was enjoying himself. He began to slowly thrust to ride out the aftershocks of his release, slumping over her back as he caught his breath and slipped out of her.

Y/N rolled onto her back, immediately feeling the massive amount of his seed leaking towards her thighs. “Steve…” Her eyelids heavy after such a rigorous reunion. “That was…”

Steve cupped his hand against her cheek. His lips touched hers softly as he placed the gentlest of kisses against her lips. “Get some rest.” He pulled the blanket up over her.

Her eyes closed as she snuggled herself into the covers. “Don’t be too long. I’m going to need a shower too – once I can feel my legs again.” She chuckled.

“I’ll leave enough hot water for you.” Y/N hummed contently, indicating that she was well on her way to a nap. He began to retrieve his clothing and dog tags, placing them in her desk chair, before dashing into the bathroom between their room and Bucky’s, before he could get caught.

***

Y/N woke up later that evening, confused as to why she was so sticky between her legs and on her thighs. She sat up to stretch, noting the clothes strewn about the room. “Oh yeah…wait...he never forgets to...” Her heart began to race. “Everything’s fine. We’ve been together for six years. We can handle mistakes. He told me he loves me, and Steve Rogers doesn’t…” The conversation they had before she let him fuck her into their mattress replayed in her mind. “...lie to me.” Her eyes landed upon the clock on her desk. “Shit! It’s after six! Steve’s probably going to want something to eat.” She drug herself out of the bed, put her bathrobe on, and then got herself a clean set of clothes. She’d take the fastest shower she could, then go downstairs to make him a home-cooked dinner.

*** 

Y/N hurried down the stairs. “Sorry I overslept. I’ll still get dinner if you don’t mind waiting!” She jerked her head from side to side, noticing that the entire downstairs was dim, that none of the lights were turned on and the only illumination present was from the weakening rays of the setting sun. “Steve?” She called out. Taking a few steps towards the kitchen, she tried again. “Steve?”

The jangle of keys unlocking the front door wasn’t enough to pull Y/N from her racing thoughts. “Y/N? Is that you?” Bucky turned the lights on, revealing Y/N standing in the kitchen in her bare feet, wearing her pajama bottoms and one of Steve’s college shirts that was damp around her shoulders from her wet hair. “Are you alright?” He carefully walked up to her.

“He…we…sex” Y/N whispered and blinked back her tears.

Bucky placed his bag of groceries on the counter. “Did Steve hurt you?” He search along her face for any clue as to what had transpired. “Did he rape you?”

Y/N shook her head no. “We were on the same page...I thought. I thought he was going to shower.”

Bucky ground his teeth. “Maybe he left to bring back food for you?”

Y/N, still staring off into the void, asked, “Was his bag by the couch when you came in Bucky?”

Bucky stepped towards the living room and craned his neck to look at the side of the couch closest to the door – the spot Steve usually liked to drop his things at when coming home for the day. It was empty. “No.” Y/N muffled the sounds of her crying with her arm. Bucky went to put his arm on her shoulder to give her a side hug for comfort. She let him offer a quick squeeze before she stepped away. “I’m sorry Y/N.” The buzz of his cell phone, signaling several notifications distracted him from his upset friend. “Hang on. It’s probably Sam forgetting the password for the scheduling system.” He glanced down at his phone and sighed. “I’ll be right back.” He went out to the front porch and made a call.

Y/N returned to the living room and curled up on the couch. She didn’t want to go upstairs – she didn’t want to do anything.

“Why didn’t you tell her?” Bucky’s voice growled through the window. “What do you mean you’ve decided to go back to the base tonight? You ignore all of her letters for months, come back from boot camp, have sex with her, then refuse to talk after, and then leave her without saying goodbye?” Y/N could hear the heavy steps of Bucky pacing on the porch, hardly listening to Bucky’s hushed outrage at his friend. “I’m not doing this to her Steve. _**YOU**_ need to do this before you hurt her anymore.” The sound of a loud ‘thwack’ snapped Y/N out of her thoughts. “DAMN IT STEVE!”

“Bucky?” Y/N poked her head outside the door, her attention drawn at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not getting involved. You really need to talk to Steve.” He stormed back into the house to put his groceries away.


	4. Fade to Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains descriptions and mentions of an early miscarriage. I tried not to get too graphic. There's many different reactions that occur during a miscarriage, but I went with the one that I felt fit the best in this story. It starts at the ##### and lasts until the end of the chapter. I'll post a note summarizing what happens at the end of the chapter, for those of you that would like to scroll to the end and skip this part.

Y/N snored loudly on the couch. Work at the school was extra challenging today and she relished the nap she was able to take as soon as she walked into the house.

“Y/N!” Bucky shook her arm in a foolish attempt to wake her. “Y/N!” He tried again.

Y/N blinked her eyes open, the haze of sleep still clinging desperately to her. “What?”

“Your phone’s ringing.” Bucky held it out to her. “It’s Steve.”

“Huh?” she asked, perplexed by his simple explanation.

Bucky answered the phone. “Hey Punk. Y/N’s comin’ to – she fell asleep. Here you go.” He placed the phone in her hand and retreated to the kitchen.

“Steve?” She groggily answered. “What’s wrong? It feels like I haven’t heard from you for days.”

“Nothing’s wrong, I…” his voice drifted away, distanced by his thoughts. “I want to take you out tonight. Some place nice, so be ready by six. Is six okay?”

Y/N rubbed her eyes. “Six? Six should be fine.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Hey Steve?” She asked timidly, catching his attention before he ended the call.

“Yes?”

“I can’t wait.” She gushed. “It’s been a while since we’ve spent time together.”

Steve lowered his voice. “I know. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you.” She whispered, before realizing that Steve had already ended the call.

Having heard the call finish, Bucky returned to the living room and plopped himself on the couch. “What’s up? Is everything alright?” He asked in a concerned, older brother-type of way.

“He’s taking me on a date tonight.” Y/N smiled, a small blush tinting her cheeks. “I’m surprised that it’s on a Tuesday, but I’ll take it. It’s been a while – we’ve both been really busy.”

“He’s…” He glanced at down at his lap, processing the unexpected answer he had just been given. Masking the confusion and anger threatening to show on his face, he continued. “That’s great. I’m sure it’ll be memorable.”

“Thanks.” Her bright smile lit up the room. “I need to figure out what to wear.”

Bucky stood and stretched. “I’m off to see a couple of clients at the gym. You’ll be gone when I get back.”

“I’ll tell you about it later. Better get going!” She playfully shoved Bucky towards the door.

***

Y/N straightened her dress and paced the room for what felt like the hundredth time. The clock read ‘six-thirty.’ “Probably stuck in traffic.” She assured herself, taking a seat on the couch. She reached over to pull the clear sandwich bag off the coffee table and fiddled with the test inside, concentrating on the positive result. She really wanted to tell him right when she found out, but she desperately wanted to see his face react to the news.

Steve had been staying on the base more often than not, to avoid the commute. He had told her that he’d come home on Friday for the weekends, but the past Friday, the second since his return, he skipped. He had explained that it was because of his commitments on base. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him the news over that call, nor the few texts that followed.

Six-thirty rapidly became seven-thirty, then eight o’clock and not a word from Steve. Y/N leaned into the plush cushions of the couch, her eyes heavy from the exhaustion of anxiety and early pregnancy hormones. She soon fell into a restless slumber.

* * *

The sound of the front door opening woke Y/N. “Steve? Is that you?” She heard a set of heavy keys tossed onto the small table next to the door. The dull thud confirming what she already knew.

“Hey Doll, it’s me.” Bucky reached for the lamp near the chair by the window. The low light revealed Y/N in her slightly rumpled purple dress, her styled hair frizzy from sleep. Bucky furrowed his brows when he spotted the pregnancy test in her lap, before she slid it away from his sight. “Did Steve…” His voice trailed.

“He uh…” She cleared her throat in hopes of keeping her tears away, with only a minuscule amount of success. “He never…” She clutched the test in her hand and clenched her jaw shut.

“He stood you up?” Bucky’s eyes narrowed.

“What time is it?” Y/N asked quietly.

“It’s after ten.” He looked away as the tears trickled down her cheeks.

She wiped her tears away with the pads of her fingertips. She struggled to get up from the couch and groaned in defeat.

“Here.” Bucky offered his hand to assist her. Y/N winced, her hand briefly cradling her lower abdomen. “Are you...is the…”

Y/N looked into the blue-gray eyes filled with worry. “I’ll be...fine.” She squeezed her eyes shut, barely hiding the grimace she tried in vain to conceal. “It’s probably for the best. I’ve been feeling off all day.”

**#####**

Y/N sat on the toilet, groaning painfully as the cramp tore at her stomach. She whimpered, in an effort to quiet herself. She didn’t want to wake Bucky. She bit her lip as she began to cry. “No! No! No!” She exclaimed softly. “Please God! No!”

Bucky listened to her cries through the door and finally knocked loudly. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“I need Steve!” She called back in desperation. “Please!” She wiped herself and saw the amount of blood on the paper and in the toilet. She wailed, drawing Bucky’s attention.

“Doll!” He broke the flimsy lock holding the door shut. “Y/N!” He pulled her into his arms, paying no attention to the blood on her hands or pajama bottoms. “I’m taking you to the emergency room!” He grabbed a towel from the rack and placed his right arm under her shoulders and assisted her to her car.

“I need to tell Steve!” Her voice rough from the emotional overload.

“He isn’t answering.” Bucky growled, tossing the towel onto the car seat for Y/N, before assisting her into the seat. “You need to get seen by a doctor.”

Y/N rubbed her belly, wishing all of her pain would go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the #####
> 
> Y/N miscarries in the middle of the night. Bucky checks in on her, while she begs for Bucky to get Steve. Unable to reach his best friend, he breaks the bathroom door to get inside to help Y/N, who had been making loud noises of pain, and decides to take her to the hospital.


	5. Say Something

Y/N rested her head against the cool glass of her car’s passenger-side window, utterly drained from the past few hours. Neither she nor Bucky were able to get a hold of Steve, which only made the intensity of the situation she felt magnified into unbearable levels. She let her tears fall while trying not to make any more sounds.

“I wish I could take away all of the hurt you’re feeling right now.” Bucky’s gentle voice broke the deafening silence in the car. He saw Y/N silently crying from his peripheral vision as he pulled into the driveway of the home they shared.

Y/N sat up straighter, taken aback by the sudden confession of her housemate. She closed her eyes, recalling the frank discussion the doctor had given them about her aftercare – Bucky not correcting the assumption that he’d been the one responsible for the pregnancy that had failed. He’d even asked about what he needed to look out for to make sure she could recover properly. “Y-you didn’t have to do this Bucky. Any of this.” She stated bluntly, waving her hand towards the pharmacy bag containing a large bottles of ibuprofen, iron supplements, and vitamin C tablets he had insisted on getting before driving them home. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

Bucky turned the car off and removed the keys from the ignition. The fingers of his right hand drummed a random rhythm into the steering wheel before he had the words he felt he needed Y/N to hear. “I know you are – I’m not doubting that. I’m doing this because your body’s gone through something traumatic and you need to rest.” He swallowed a small lump forming in his throat. “As your friend, I need to know that you’ll be alright, so here I am, playing nurse to you. Just let me.”

Y/N toyed with the handles of the plastic bag between their seats. “It’s not your job.” She responded in smallest of whispers.

“I know that, but Steve isn’t here!” He snipped back. He hung his head in shame when he heard the whimpers beside him. “I tried Doll. I really did. He didn’t answer any of the calls or texts I sent him. I know he should be here taking care of you, but he isn’t and I am, so let me. Please.”

Y/N took the bag and exited the car. Bucky was quick to follow her and open the front door. She placed the medicine on the couch, holding herself up by grasping the corner of the piece of furniture. “Why? Bucky? Why are you doing this?”

“You helped take care of me when I came back.” His blunt words causing Y/N slight confusion. He gave her a smirk. “You insisted that I move here after I was discharged from the hospital. You made sure that I got to all of my appointments and demanded that I go to the VA and get into a support group for wounded returning vets.

“Of course I insisted you come here. It’s your house – you were letting me and Steve rent it on the cheap.” She rolled her eyes, the tiniest smile briefly before drowning herself in her personal sorrows.

“That doesn’t matter. If you only knew what your support did for me.” He shook his head. “If you knew, you wouldn’t ask me why I’m doing this.”

Y/N stepped towards Bucky, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. “Thank you.” Her voice muffled by his sweatshirt.

He wrapped his arms around her, in a weak attempt to shield her from all of the intense feelings of loss she was currently bombarding herself with. “Y/N, let’s get you to bed. The doctor said you’ll need rest for the next few days.” He herded her towards the stairs, following very closely behind. He moved ahead of her once they reached her bedroom. He sat her down in her desk chair, then went about the task of stripping her bed. He bundled her sheets and placed them by the door, before retrieving clean linens from the small closet in the hallway, next to the bathroom. His work was quiet and efficient – her bed was soon ready for her.

She had watched Bucky in awe as he completed his mission. It usually took her way longer to get the fitted sheet on the mattress without Steve’s help. ‘Steve.’ The thought of him tore her heart. Where had he been? She touched her pillow, lost in thought, as she heard the sounds of Bucky taking the bloodied sheets to the washing machine in the basement.

Bucky found her in the same place he had left her – beside her bed. “C’mon Doll.” His hand touched her shoulder gingerly. “The doctor said that you lost a bit of blood, and that it’d be best if you stayed off your feet.”

Y/N turned, placing a hand on his chest, toying with the drawstring of the sweatshirt he was still sporting. “Stay. Please.” Her voice cracked with grief. “I can’t do this alone.” She hiccuped before the sobs flowed freely from her.

“Shh...Doll…” He drew her closer to him, tightening his arm around her.

“Not...I’m not strong to do this alone.” She buried her face as deeply as she could into his chest.

He lowered his face into the top of her head. “I’m right here.” He reached behind her to pull the blankets back. “Into bed you go.” He made sure she was on her side of the bed, close to the wall, and comfortable before he sat on the edge of the bed. “I almost forgot.” He rose and left the room, returning a moment later, a glass of water from the bathroom in his hand. “Hang on.” He placed the cup on the night stand and then went for the pharmacy bag. “You should take these before you sleep.”

“I doubt I’ll sleep.” Y/N muttered, curling her arms around her sensitive abdomen.

“Take these.” He handed the pills and water to her. “I’ll make sure that your job knows that you’re not going in -” He looked at the red numbers of Steve’s alarm clock displaying the time of three-thirty-four. “Today. I’ll use your phone. What name do I call, and by what time?”

Y/N handed her phone over to Bucky. “Julie and by five forty-five. Don’t tell her what happened. Please. Tell her I should be fine by Thursday or Friday.”

Bucky grunted and plugged the phone into the charger. “I’ll let them know that you’re not feeling well.” He crawled beside Y/N and sat stiffly beside her.

She curled into him. “Thank you.”

Bucky draped his arm onto her shoulder. “You don’t need to thank me. Never for anything like this.” She snuggled deeper into his side, and despite her earlier proclamations, was soon in a turbulent slumber.

*** * ***

The sound of a bag dropping at the side of the bedroom door roused Y/N from little bit of rest she had managed to get. Her hand instinctively rubbed at her eyes. “Bucky? What was that?” She managed to mumble somewhat coherently.

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me!” A loud voice boomed, startling the two people in the bed. “What the…? Jesus Y/N! In our bed? You’re fucking my best friend in OUR BED?” He grabbed the closest item near him – a framed picture of him with Y/N on their graduation day, and flung it across the room.

“STEVE!” Y/N screamed, terrified of him.

Bucky instantly jumped out of the bed, crossing the room in a couple of steps, and got into Steve’s face, grabbing him by his shirt collar. “I’m not fucking her. If you answered your God damned phone, you’d know I’m here because she miscarried _**YOUR**_ baby.” His voice, fueled by his anger, growled.

“I come home and you’re in my bed.” He jerks his head into Y/N’s direction. “With her. What the hell am I supposed to think?” He froze, Bucky’s words finally registering in his brain. “What miscarriage?”

“Bucky, I need to talk to Steve alone please.” Y/N voice had an eerily calmness to it. Bucky nodded curtly and shoved himself past Steve, closing the door behind him. She waited for the heavy fall of Bucky’s footsteps to fade down the stairs before she scooted to the side of the bed and continued. “I…” She opened the nightstand drawer and removed the baggie containing the pregnancy test. “I found out a few days ago, but wanted to tell you in person.” Steve took the test from her and stared at it, a blank expression gracing his face. “I was going to tell you tonight, but you never came.” She bit her lip, praying that the tears would hold off until she finished what she needed to tell him. “I went to bed...when I woke up…” Fat tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. “I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry Steve! Bucky was the only one here and I was scared.”

Steve saw the hospital band on her wrist. “He took you to the hospital?”

Y/N nodded. “There was...um...there was a lot of blood, and I guess I looked like shit.” Her eyes lowered, unable to look at Steve. “I asked him to stay because I didn’t want to be alone after this. Not tonight.” She let her tears continue to fall without wiping them away. This wasn’t another argument about marriage – she needed for Steve to see how deeply she was hurting. “He called. Where were you?”

Steve pulled her into a loose hug. “Some stuff was going on at the base. I’m...I’m sorry.”

Y/N’s grip became tighter on Steve’s uniform. “I’m sorry I keep bugging you about – I love you.”

“I know, Y/N.” He looked at the ceiling and then back at Y/N’s tear-streaked face. “You should go back to bed.” He waited for her to return to her spot, then tucked the blanket around her.

“Steve, please, please don’t go. Not right now. Stay with me, even for a few minutes.”

“I need to…” The sentence dropped off as he took his bag and left the room.

Y/N curled to her side and clutched a pillow closely. She heard loud voices, presumably Bucky and Steve’s, arguing. She wasn’t trying to hear what was being said, and it wasn’t clear enough to hear through the walls. She heard an angry voice yell, “Be a fucking man!” followed by the shattering slam of the front door. The familiar stomping of Bucky’s feet climbing the stairs told her all she needed to know.

“Y/N?” Bucky tread carefully into the bedroom, knealing on the bed and crawling towards her. “Come here.” He pulled her into the most protective hug she hadn’t felt since she first dated Steve. “You shouldn’t deal with this right now. You need to rest.” His right arm curled around her protectively and drew her closer to him. “I’ll get up soon to call you out, so you can rest.”

Y/N nodded into his shoulder, already dozing slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gone back and updated the chapter titles. They're all song titles, because the songs either inspired sections of this overall tale I'm trying to weave, or because it amused me. If you have lazy tendencies like myself, I'll list the ones I've put on the previous chapters. They'll all have them from here on out.
> 
> Chapter 1: Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes  
> Chapter 2: Please Mr. Postman - The Marvelettes  
> Chapter 3: Bad Romance - Lady Gaga  
> Chapter 4: Fade to Black - Metallica  
> Chapter 5: Say Something - A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera  
> For those of y'all keeping score at home, yes, the title is from the Adele song. LOL


	6. Tell Me It's Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. No good excuse except "I have kids." Thanks to anyone still coming over to read this. It's much appreciated.

“Are you sure you still want to go to Nat’s tonight?” Bucky called out from the kitchen. “No offense, but you’re still looking a bit off.”

“I’ll be fine.” Y/N swallowed the handful of pills she was holding.

“It’s only been a few days – it’s alright if you need more time.” Bucky pressed.

“I can’t keep dwelling on…” she sighed heavily, “Besides, Steve told me that he had something really important to talk to me about.” She tugged at her soft, maroon sweater, grateful that Clint and Nat always made sure that their annual “Friends-giving” event was a step above ‘wear pajamas’ in terms of the dress code.

Bucky dried his hands the kitchen towel and studied his housemate. “He could always come here to talk to you, given that -”

“I said it’s fine Bucky. It’s been a rough few days.” She looked away from him. “I never did thank you for telling Julie that I needed the rest of the week.”

“You weren’t going to allow yourself the time, and you needed it.”

“It’s hard to explain. Physically, I’m a little sore, but fine. I’m perfectly capable of doing my job.”

“I feel there’s a ‘but’ coming.” Bucky interjected.

Y/N gave him and smile full of sadness. “But, emotionally? I’m a wreck and it frustrates me that I can’t control it. One minute I’m numb and can’t cry, and the next minute I’m hysterically sobbing.”

Bucky stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, squeezing her just a bit tighter than he usually did. “It was traumatizing for you, and you’re allowed to feel all sorts of things.”

Y/N tucked her head and sniffled. “Thanks Bucky.” She pulled herself back to compose herself. “We should probably pack up your casserole, so we have enough time to go to the store for me to get a pie.”

Bucky grabbed the lid to the dish, securing it to the pan. “Ready when you are Doll.”

*** * ***

Y/N and Bucky weren’t the first to arrive, yet they were there fairly early. She looked around the room, finding Sam in a deep conversation with Clint, while Sharon helped Natasha with bringing hors d'oeuvres out for the guests.

Sharon waved Y/N over. “Y/N! Come taste this! Tell me what you think!”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders as she bit the creamy deviled egg. “It’s not too bad, the paprika was a nice touch.”

“Where’s Steve?” Nat casually looked around the room. “Didn’t he come with you and Bucky?”

Y/N took a cup beside the punch bowl, searching for anything non-alcoholic to put in it. Deciding that the diet soda offered was her best bet, she poured herself half a cup. “He told me he was meeting me here.”

Nat arched her eyebrow. “Oh.” She looked over at Clint and Sam, both pretty animated over whatever they were discussing. “I’m sorry, excuse me. I need to ask Clint something.”

Y/N nodded politely and sought out Bucky. “Hey Bucky!” She bumped into his arm, gaining his attention.

“Hey Y/N.” He smiled down at her. “What are you drinking?”

“Diet soda.”

“You don’t need to -”

“I know. I don’t even really like soda, but I didn’t want water. Sometimes the soda fizz helps to calm my nerves.”

Bucky eyed Y/N carefully. “What do you have to be nervous about?”

“I haven’t seen Steve since he…” She worried the cuff of the right sleeve of her sweater. “He sent me a few messages. He said he was sorry he left – he didn’t know what to say or do.”

Bucky closed his eyes and released a deep breath through his nose. “Bullshit.” The words rolled quietly off his lips, as to not draw attention. “All he had to do was stay for a bit – he chose to leave you when you were dealing with -”

“He said that he really needed to talk to me after dinner.” She avoided looking Bucky in the eyes. “When I asked him about it, he just told me that it was something he was thinking about for a while now.”

“Y/N don’t…” He touched her hand briefly. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

She squeezed his fingers and pulled her hand back. “I’ll be fine. Steve won’t hurt me – he loves me.”

Bucky raised the tumbler of auburn liquid he casually held to his lips, taking a large drink from it. “Y/N, I…”

“Hey Steve! We’re all out here!” Clint’s voice called out from the dining room. “Get yourself a drink, the turkey should be ready in a few minutes!”

Steve shed his coat, draping it on the small, antique chair a few steps away from their front door. “Thanks Clint!”

Y/N took small, tentative steps towards Steve, until she could reach out and lightly touch his elbow. “Hey.”

Steve startled and moved back. “Hey.”

“You want to go and talk?” She struggled to keep her face up as she spoke to him.

“Clint just said that dinner’s almost ready. After, I promise.” Steve reached into his pocket and fidgeted with the contents.

Y/N forced a smile. “Okay.”

*******

Dinner was filled with the usual laughter and lively discussions that graced every get-together among their group of friends. Steve busied himself helping to clear the dishes, placing them swiftly into the dishwasher, allowing everyone to relax and digest their meals before indulging in the richly sweet desserts being offered.

“Steve?” Y/N joined him in the kitchen. “You have a few minutes now?”

Steve dried his hands on the dish towel then folded it neatly before placing it back into the counter. “We should wait.” He once again reached into his pocket, grasping at its contents.

“Steve, we haven’t really spoken much since…” A strong wave of grief flooded her, and she struggled to compose herself. “We need to talk.”

Steve frowned, but took her by the arm and escorted her into the front room of the house, away from prying eyes and ears. “Y/N, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. What happened the other night – it made me realize that I needed to…” He reached into his pocket and removed his clenched hand. “Y/N?”

Her eyes rounded with hope, her hands trembling slightly. “Steve?”

He straightened his shoulders and stood himself to his full height. “I can’t do this anymore.” He opened his hand, revealing his house key. Offering the metal piece to Y/N, he rushed to explained. “I never wanted to hurt you, but we haven’t been good for a really long time.”

Y/N stood, stunned into silence. She stared at the key Steve held up to her in offering for a moment.

“Say something Y/N. Please.”

“You couldn’t tell me this at home? You had to do it at Nat’s?” Her eyes bored into his. “How long have you wanted this?”

“It’s not like that…”

She wrapped her arm around her waist and hunched over slightly as the pain of the emotional realization tore through her. “You didn’t leave the other night because you were upset – you were relieved I miscarried our baby.” She stated as fact, more than accusingly. “I was – am still dealing with the aftermath of that Steve! It’s only been a few days!” Steve reached to brush a tear from her face, Y/N recoiled away from him. “You told me you loved me, and I believed you.”

“I do love you.” She muffled her choked sobs in the sleeve of her sweater. “Y/N, I will always love you – we’ve been through a lot together, but I’m not in love with you.”

Y/N headed towards the door, leaving the gathering without saying another word, or her coat.

*** * ***

“Y/N!” Bucky pulled her car to the side of the road, leaving it running as he caught up to her with the coat she had left. “Y/N!”

She spun around and glared at Bucky. “Did you know he was going to do this?”

“I could see you guys drifting apart! I asked you why you stayed! I demanded he speak to you!” He raked his hand through his hair in frustration. “I begged Steve to talk to you, but I didn’t know he was going to break up with you at Nat’s party.”

Y/N held the key Steve had given her. “He gave me his house key.” She wiped at her nose – a vain attempt at trying to stem her tears. “And I thought he…that he...was finally going to propose.” Her voice cracked at the confession.

Bucky draped her coat over her shoulders. “Come with me. You’re freezing.” He guided her to the car, ushering her into the passenger’s side of the vehicle.

She stared out of the car window as Bucky pulled back into traffic. “He knew for a while. He was happy that I mis-” Her shoulders began to shake.

“He wasn’t happy you lost your baby. He was shocked.” 

“Don’t defend him!” She screamed. “He knew when he got me pregnant! That bastard KNEW he was going to leave me and he still...he…” She bit her knuckle in an effort to calm herself down. “It wasn’t welcome home sex – it was his goodbye.” She clenched her eyes shut. “The best sex we’d ever had, and he was saying good bye, only I didn’t know it. I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re far from being an idiot, Y/N.” Bucky reached over to touch her hand gently. “Given your history together, it’s easy to think he was about to propose. He kept playing with the key in his pocket.”

Y/N nodded her head slowly. “I thought it was...”

“I know.” He blew out his breath in a huff. “You’re not the only one thinking that.” Y/N raised her head in surprise. “Sharon and Clint asked him how the proposal went when he came back into the room. He told everyone that he ended it with you.” His fingers gently squeezed his house mate’s hand.

“That’s because Sharon and Clint are hopeless romantics.” Y/N sighed and tried to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Everyone else saw it coming too, didn’t they?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“If they didn’t, you wouldn’t have been the only one to come after me.”

“Honestly, Sam and Nat have mentioned how things looked off between the two of you. It wasn’t my place to tell them my thoughts.”

“Thoughts that you were happy to share with me.” Y/N bitterly snipped at him.

“Because I care about you.” Bucky turned into their driveway. “I hated seeing you two fight about it all the time. Steve was miserable not being able to tell you how he felt, and you were heartbroken because he was distant. You deserve better than that.”

“I deserved to be dumped before he got me pregnant.” She hugged herself tightly. “He could have waited a few more days – let me have a week to recover before tossing this at me.”

“I’ll be the first to acknowledge the boy’s got piss-poor timing.” He turned off the car and removed the keys from the ignition. “Let’s go inside.”

Y/N again nodded her head and exited the car. She stood to the side while Bucky fumbled the keys in his hands as he unlocked the door. He put the keys on the stand by the door, reaching for the light switch. “Y/N?” He watched as she headed silently to her bedroom, her crying becoming audible once the door had closed behind her.

*******

Once inside the privacy of her room, Y/N allowed herself to cry and recover from the shock. The room illuminated in a soft glow when she turned her desk lamp on, revealing that nearly all of Steve’s existence from the room had been erased. She took the frame that once held their graduation photo from her desk. It only held her picture in it – the half containing Steve had been meticulously removed with scissors. She sat on the bed, where they shared several memories over the years, and grabbed her pillow. It still smelled like him. She couldn’t sleep here.

*******

“Y/N? Why are you on the couch?” Bucky touched her shoulder, jarring her from her thoughts.

“Can’t sleep.” She whispered.

“Can’t sleep, or can’t sleep there?” He pressed.

Y/N’s eyes were rimmed with tears as she faced Bucky. “He took everything. It’s like we were never together at all.” She blinked and the tears cascaded down her face. “He cut himself out of our graduation picture...and…” She abruptly shook her head. “Can’t.”

“You’re still recovering. The couch isn’t great for that.” He tugged at her arm. “C’mon. Upstairs.”

“Can’t Bucky.”

“I didn’t say go to your bed. I’m taking you to mine.”

Y/N blinked, certain she had heard him wrong. “Bucky…”

“It’s almost 4 am. I don’t normally stay asleep much longer than that, so take my bed and get some rest.” He watched as she debated the offer. “Please.”

She stood and gathered her blanket around herself. “Thank you.” Embarrassment causing her to say it more to her feet than to Bucky, before she allowed him to lead her to his bedroom.

*******


End file.
